I can't believe that my little boy turned 8 today.
Here is an insert from my memoir that I wrote 8 years ago about my labor.
JOSEPH TRENTON BARFIELD
Born October 5, 1999 10:49 am
7 pounds 12 ounces 19 ½ inches long
Born October 5, 1999 10:49 am
7 pounds 12 ounces 19 ½ inches long
The worst thing was the waiting and waiting. I remember sitting in the baby’s room praying for him to come. The last couple of weeks I walked, and walked. Every Monday coming into work everyone would say, “You’re still hanging in there?” But at least I had the Braves to keep my mind off of things. I thought for sure that he would come on a weekend. And I knew that it would be the weekend of Carey’s wedding. I woke up on September 25th and just knew that I was going to miss one of my best friends wedding. I had already declined the bride’s maid invitation because A) I knew that I would be as big as a house and 2) I thought little “Leroy” would make an unscheduled appearance in the middle of her wedding. But that weekend, nothing......It would be another week.
After a long weekend of hoping and praying I would go into labor, I went to my weekly doctor’s appointment. It was October 4, 1999. At this point I had gained 38 pounds total. They ran some tests to see just how much fluid I still had around the baby. I asked the ultrasound technician to make sure that the baby was a boy, because if it wasn’t she would be in blue for a long time. She showed me clearly that it still was a boy. But they also warned be that his face was “sunny side up” and they gave me some exercises to do to try to help him move around.
The nurse told me to go home and rest because I should be in labor by the end of the week. And if I didn’t go onto labor by myself, they would induce Friday for sure. I was glad to have a week’s vacation. I had been so tired and it was getting harder and harder to get up to go to work.
I went to work to collect my things and give them my doctor’s note. I would be starting my maternity leave ASAP. I said my good-byes then decided to go to Publix on the way home. I needed to pick up some groceries we needed. It was about 3:30 when I finally got home. I walked in and Brett was lying down. He jumped up when I told him what the doctor had said earlier. I called my mom and Pam to let them know too. Finally, everyone got the news.
I was glad that I had all week to prepare for my delivery. I was going to see Carey; she was on her way home from her honeymoon in Canada. Brett went down to Jeff’s that night after dinner, but I stayed home. Brett got back and went to bed. He had to get up early for work. I stayed up because I wasn’t tired and could not sleep anyway. I stayed up looking at birth announcements and watching Crime TV, Homicide and LAW & ORDER. I started to get, what felt like menstrual cramps. Therefore, I just laid there until I got tired. I went to bed and laid down. The clock said 11:30.
That’s when I felt a sharp pain in my side. I just laid there. At 11:37, I felt another one. I got up and went into the baby’s room to read my labor book. Since I had never felt labor pains before, I wanted to read up on it to see if that what was happening. I got another one and went to wake Brett up. I said "Brett, I’m having contractions, they are 7 minutes apart.” He said OK and just laid there. As they got more intense, I told Brett to get up. He went to get dressed and iron his clothes. He told me to call the nurse on duty, so I did and waited for her call. She called back and told me to go get in the bathtub for a while to see if the pain would ease up. So I did. I told Brett to go and clean the litter box, just in case we had to go to the hospital. I didn’t want the house to smell when we returned.
While in the tub the contractions got stronger, I yelled for Brett to come in and help me time them. I just couldn’t do it; the pain was getting increasingly intense. It was all I could do just to hold my stomach and breathe. He timed them, and then yelled, “Get your ass out to the tub, your contractions are 3 minutes apart!” I jumped out and got dressed. I wanted to wait until we got to the hospital to call mom and dad, Pam and Ealy. But Brett didn’t want to, so he called them. But he instructed them to wait until we called back from the hospital to come, just in case it was false labor.
We jumped into the car and Brett handed me a towel to sit on, just in case my water broke on the way. It was a weird feeling that we were leaving as two, but coming back as three. The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever. I remember lying the seat back in the car and counting the exits as we passed them. B98.5 was on the radio. I told Brett to turn off that sappy music. When we got to the hospital, he let me out and I ran upstairs. I was so excited, but nervous at the same time.
I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was 2:30am, when I finally reached the second floor. I stepped off the elevator and the nurses at their station just looked at me like, “What’s wrong with you?” I said very loudly, “Uh I think I’m in labor!” They all just told me to keep walking to the end of the hall to the second nurse’s station. That kind nurse led me into a room and hooked up a bunch of monitors to me. I must have gone to the bathroom a million times. I always felt like I had to go #2, but I didn’t. It was all of the pressure. When I knew that we were staying, I told Brett to go call our parents. When he came back, he said that no one would answer. I knew that they wouldn’t be able to sit still. They all came walking in the room. I was trying to make jokes because they were taking blood and putting in IVs. Brett kept doing a disappearing act (to the restroom.)
They moved me into a delivery room. In that room, I had the worst pain. I kept yelling for Brett to rub my hip and thighs. That’s where all of my contractions were. Since the baby’s face was pointing in the wrong direction all I had was back labor. The pain is really indescribable. They kind of felt like sharp growing pains. The nurses gave me some pain medicine around 4:00 am. But I think they gave me too much too soon of the IV. I got so drowsy. I remember lying there, looking up and seeing Keith and Danny there. Jeff stood at the door and peaked in but he wouldn’t set foot in the room. I was humming and singing really loud, and they were laughing at me. The pain medicine helped a little bit, but I really wanted my epidural. At some point, I told mom to call my work and Brett to call some friends.
The next thing I can recall was that around 6:45 am when no one else was in the room, the nurses broke my water. It never really felt any different. I was expecting a gush or something, but I didn’t feel anything. It wasn’t like the videos we saw in the classes. I was so glad when the nurse came in and said that I could have my epidural. It seemed like forever before that doctor came in. I was scared. The needle was huge. But I really wanted that epidural. I was instructed not to move, and if I had a contraction, I still couldn’t move. I held onto Brett and I never felt the needle like I thought I would. It was a little sting, then numbness. I guess that the contractions were so intense that I wasn’t paying attention to the needle in my back. I felt 75% better after that thing. Then they told me that they would have to put a catheter in to control my urine flow. I knew what that meant and everything they did I would ask them if it was going to hurt. Because of the epidural I never really felt it. Thank Goodness.
At 8:05 am the nurses instructed everyone but Brett and Mom to leave the room. I was fully dilated. They were going to start letting me push. I wanted to push all along. Every time a contraction came, I would push. I pushed and pushed. They kept asking me if I wanted to take a break, at first I did. But after a while I just wanted to get the baby out of there. The pressure was so great. I thought I was going to break my pelvic bone. They laid a big pad under me. I wanted to push even if I wasn’t having a contraction, but they made me stop. I just wanted my baby here. But his head just would not get under my pelvic bone. The mid-wife just sat there, drank her coffee and instructed me when to push. But nothing. The baby’s heart rate was decreasing and I was getting so tired. That’s when they strapped an oxygen mask to me. I got scared. I knew something was wrong. They started beeping the doctor, so she could help me. But she had another emergency. They gave me some options. I could either push it out or they would have to get forceps or a suction to help me. I told them that the forceps were out of the question. Mom went out of the room upset and told everyone in the waiting room to pray for us.
At that time another nurse from the hospital came in and she helped me “mentally” to start pushing. All of the other nurses wanted me to take a break but that one nurse insisted that I just push, push, and push. So I did and within 20 minutes, (at 10:49am) out popped Joseph Trenton Barfield. 7lbs 12oz. 19 inches long. It felt like a big gush of slime. I felt a huge relief. I wanted them to make sure he was OK first before anyone held him. (And to clean him off.) Brett got to see and hold him first. At 10:55 am they pushed on my stomach and delivered the placenta and afterbirth. I felt so sticky and gross. It took them at least 30 minutes to sew me up and get me ready. I only had 1 degree of perineal tear so I didn’t need an episiotomy. I was glad .
After a long weekend of hoping and praying I would go into labor, I went to my weekly doctor’s appointment. It was October 4, 1999. At this point I had gained 38 pounds total. They ran some tests to see just how much fluid I still had around the baby. I asked the ultrasound technician to make sure that the baby was a boy, because if it wasn’t she would be in blue for a long time. She showed me clearly that it still was a boy. But they also warned be that his face was “sunny side up” and they gave me some exercises to do to try to help him move around.
The nurse told me to go home and rest because I should be in labor by the end of the week. And if I didn’t go onto labor by myself, they would induce Friday for sure. I was glad to have a week’s vacation. I had been so tired and it was getting harder and harder to get up to go to work.
I went to work to collect my things and give them my doctor’s note. I would be starting my maternity leave ASAP. I said my good-byes then decided to go to Publix on the way home. I needed to pick up some groceries we needed. It was about 3:30 when I finally got home. I walked in and Brett was lying down. He jumped up when I told him what the doctor had said earlier. I called my mom and Pam to let them know too. Finally, everyone got the news.
I was glad that I had all week to prepare for my delivery. I was going to see Carey; she was on her way home from her honeymoon in Canada. Brett went down to Jeff’s that night after dinner, but I stayed home. Brett got back and went to bed. He had to get up early for work. I stayed up because I wasn’t tired and could not sleep anyway. I stayed up looking at birth announcements and watching Crime TV, Homicide and LAW & ORDER. I started to get, what felt like menstrual cramps. Therefore, I just laid there until I got tired. I went to bed and laid down. The clock said 11:30.
That’s when I felt a sharp pain in my side. I just laid there. At 11:37, I felt another one. I got up and went into the baby’s room to read my labor book. Since I had never felt labor pains before, I wanted to read up on it to see if that what was happening. I got another one and went to wake Brett up. I said "Brett, I’m having contractions, they are 7 minutes apart.” He said OK and just laid there. As they got more intense, I told Brett to get up. He went to get dressed and iron his clothes. He told me to call the nurse on duty, so I did and waited for her call. She called back and told me to go get in the bathtub for a while to see if the pain would ease up. So I did. I told Brett to go and clean the litter box, just in case we had to go to the hospital. I didn’t want the house to smell when we returned.
While in the tub the contractions got stronger, I yelled for Brett to come in and help me time them. I just couldn’t do it; the pain was getting increasingly intense. It was all I could do just to hold my stomach and breathe. He timed them, and then yelled, “Get your ass out to the tub, your contractions are 3 minutes apart!” I jumped out and got dressed. I wanted to wait until we got to the hospital to call mom and dad, Pam and Ealy. But Brett didn’t want to, so he called them. But he instructed them to wait until we called back from the hospital to come, just in case it was false labor.
We jumped into the car and Brett handed me a towel to sit on, just in case my water broke on the way. It was a weird feeling that we were leaving as two, but coming back as three. The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever. I remember lying the seat back in the car and counting the exits as we passed them. B98.5 was on the radio. I told Brett to turn off that sappy music. When we got to the hospital, he let me out and I ran upstairs. I was so excited, but nervous at the same time.
I wasn’t sure what to expect. It was 2:30am, when I finally reached the second floor. I stepped off the elevator and the nurses at their station just looked at me like, “What’s wrong with you?” I said very loudly, “Uh I think I’m in labor!” They all just told me to keep walking to the end of the hall to the second nurse’s station. That kind nurse led me into a room and hooked up a bunch of monitors to me. I must have gone to the bathroom a million times. I always felt like I had to go #2, but I didn’t. It was all of the pressure. When I knew that we were staying, I told Brett to go call our parents. When he came back, he said that no one would answer. I knew that they wouldn’t be able to sit still. They all came walking in the room. I was trying to make jokes because they were taking blood and putting in IVs. Brett kept doing a disappearing act (to the restroom.)
They moved me into a delivery room. In that room, I had the worst pain. I kept yelling for Brett to rub my hip and thighs. That’s where all of my contractions were. Since the baby’s face was pointing in the wrong direction all I had was back labor. The pain is really indescribable. They kind of felt like sharp growing pains. The nurses gave me some pain medicine around 4:00 am. But I think they gave me too much too soon of the IV. I got so drowsy. I remember lying there, looking up and seeing Keith and Danny there. Jeff stood at the door and peaked in but he wouldn’t set foot in the room. I was humming and singing really loud, and they were laughing at me. The pain medicine helped a little bit, but I really wanted my epidural. At some point, I told mom to call my work and Brett to call some friends.
The next thing I can recall was that around 6:45 am when no one else was in the room, the nurses broke my water. It never really felt any different. I was expecting a gush or something, but I didn’t feel anything. It wasn’t like the videos we saw in the classes. I was so glad when the nurse came in and said that I could have my epidural. It seemed like forever before that doctor came in. I was scared. The needle was huge. But I really wanted that epidural. I was instructed not to move, and if I had a contraction, I still couldn’t move. I held onto Brett and I never felt the needle like I thought I would. It was a little sting, then numbness. I guess that the contractions were so intense that I wasn’t paying attention to the needle in my back. I felt 75% better after that thing. Then they told me that they would have to put a catheter in to control my urine flow. I knew what that meant and everything they did I would ask them if it was going to hurt. Because of the epidural I never really felt it. Thank Goodness.
At 8:05 am the nurses instructed everyone but Brett and Mom to leave the room. I was fully dilated. They were going to start letting me push. I wanted to push all along. Every time a contraction came, I would push. I pushed and pushed. They kept asking me if I wanted to take a break, at first I did. But after a while I just wanted to get the baby out of there. The pressure was so great. I thought I was going to break my pelvic bone. They laid a big pad under me. I wanted to push even if I wasn’t having a contraction, but they made me stop. I just wanted my baby here. But his head just would not get under my pelvic bone. The mid-wife just sat there, drank her coffee and instructed me when to push. But nothing. The baby’s heart rate was decreasing and I was getting so tired. That’s when they strapped an oxygen mask to me. I got scared. I knew something was wrong. They started beeping the doctor, so she could help me. But she had another emergency. They gave me some options. I could either push it out or they would have to get forceps or a suction to help me. I told them that the forceps were out of the question. Mom went out of the room upset and told everyone in the waiting room to pray for us.
At that time another nurse from the hospital came in and she helped me “mentally” to start pushing. All of the other nurses wanted me to take a break but that one nurse insisted that I just push, push, and push. So I did and within 20 minutes, (at 10:49am) out popped Joseph Trenton Barfield. 7lbs 12oz. 19 inches long. It felt like a big gush of slime. I felt a huge relief. I wanted them to make sure he was OK first before anyone held him. (And to clean him off.) Brett got to see and hold him first. At 10:55 am they pushed on my stomach and delivered the placenta and afterbirth. I felt so sticky and gross. It took them at least 30 minutes to sew me up and get me ready. I only had 1 degree of perineal tear so I didn’t need an episiotomy. I was glad .
I finally got to hold my precious baby. He was so perfect. He even scored a 9 on his Apgar score. (He only got a 1 on color because he was bluish) I couldn’t believe he was finally here. I had waited 9 long months. We still hadn’t really decided on a name until after he was born. I really wanted to name him Ryan, and at the very end Brett said that it was OK. But I just could not do it, knowing that he really didn’t want it.
Mom went outside to let everyone else know that he had arrived. Then after they cleaned me up, they let everyone come in. I grabbed the video camera. I wanted to capture everything on tape for him. We had a party in the delivery room. I still can’t believe that the nurses let so many people in the room at a time. Everyone passed him around. Then everyone went up to my postpartum room. I felt as if I was just ran over by a dump truck. Soon they led me to my room on the third floor. After I settled in everyone left. However, I couldn’t take a nap. The feeling in my legs and thighs started to come back and I was starting to really feel what I had just been through. I had been up since 6:00 am the morning before, had been to work, to the doctor’s office, grocery shopping and just given birth. Mom and Dad went to get us something to eat (Chick-Fil-Lay) and then to get Grandma from the airport. She thought they were kidding when they told her I had just had the baby! Later on that night some of our friends and family came by.
I just couldn’t believe it was over. Although I felt pretty crappy. My body ached all over. My arms were sore from holding on to my knees to push. That night I sent Brett home to clean up. I didn’t want him to have to sleep on that awful chair that was in my room. After everyone left, it finally hit me. I couldn’t sleep that night because the nurses kept coming in every hour checking on me and Trent, checking our blood pressure and temperature. And I had severely bruised my tailbone. I could hardly walk to go to the bathroom. It was awful. My stomach didn’t hurt at all, just my back and arms. It took me twenty minutes to use the bathroom and it hurt. They had given me these huge ski looking pads to wear. You may have been lucky not to have a period for 8 months, but you really make up for it during these next few weeks.
That morning Mom, Laurie, Rich, Becky, Charlie and Elaine came by to see me. The nurses came to give him his “little surgery” and take his hospital pictures. Mom stayed most of the day and I had other visitors as well. Brett came up that afternoon. He looked tired too, but not nearly as tired as I was. That night I had other visitors, but again as soon as everyone left I was alone. I was glad that I could go home the next day. I wanted some real food and my own bed. Again that night I couldn’t sleep. What if he quits breathing? What if he is wet? What’s that noise? The nurses visited me and Trent every hour again!
That morning I tried to take a shower for the first time. That was painful, but I just wanted to feel fresh. I still was really, really sore. But it felt nice to get clean. I started packing up my things and had some more visitors from Laurie’s church to pray over the Trent. I told Brett to be there at 11:00 am. The nurse came in at 11:00 to take Trent’s blood and the PKU test. Then I had to wait for the doctors to release us. Dr. Lee came in and examined Trent and released him. Then we waited until 2:30 for my doctor to come in to release me. I was so angry that it took so long. But we finally were on our way home. We stopped at Taco Bell and then went by Granny and Papa’s for them to see their second great-grandson. As we pulled into our driveway, I noticed that our yard had welcome signs and balloons for Trent. Heather and her mom had driven all the way to our house to decorate. That was really thoughtful. As soon as we got home I vacuumed the front room. I know that I wasn’t supposed to but I did. And Trent fell right asleep to the noise of the vacuum cleaner. That night we had a big party to welcome little Trent. Mom had fixed a feast for everyone. I remember during the little party, I thought I had spilled something on my shirt. So I went to change. 10 minutes later there is was again. I didn’t realize that my boobs were leaking milk. That was really funny!
That night after everyone left Brett and I kind of looked at each other like “What now?” That night was awful. Trent would not sleep and wouldn’t eat. We were up all night. I started to cry. Even though I wasn’t suppose to be driving, that next morning I went to Babies R US to get a breast pump. My boobs hurt so bad and felt so full. But he just wasn’t getting enough milk if any. I was in tears all the way there. When I got there I ran into Jackie Baldwin. She calmed me down and helped me figure out what to do. I was depressed about the breast feeding situation. She assured me that Trent would be just fine taking a bottle. I felt I had failed. I got home and tired to pump my breast milk. But by that time my nipples were already cracked and bleeding. So after that weekend I offered him a bottle.
For the first week Mom came over every other day. That was such a big help. Brett and I took him for his week old check up. That was a different experience for us. That first month went by slowly. I hardly got any sleep. That was the biggest shock to me. He woke up every 2 hours on the dot. But at least we were in a routine. I was so tired all the time. I really didn’t understand what postpartum was until then. I would burst out into tears for no reason. And for hours just stare at him. I couldn’t believe that I was a mom. I remember one day I cried for most of the day, but I didn’t have a reason why. The feeling and pressure was so unreal. As the first two weeks went by I started to feel almost like my self again, well emotionally, but not physically. When I finally got to my postpartum check-up I was disappointed that I still had 20 pounds to lose and I had problems controlling my urine flow. Every time I sneezed, I peed! Every time I coughed, I peed! Every time I laughed, I peed! My keagle muscle was really weak and I couldn’t control it.~~
Mom went outside to let everyone else know that he had arrived. Then after they cleaned me up, they let everyone come in. I grabbed the video camera. I wanted to capture everything on tape for him. We had a party in the delivery room. I still can’t believe that the nurses let so many people in the room at a time. Everyone passed him around. Then everyone went up to my postpartum room. I felt as if I was just ran over by a dump truck. Soon they led me to my room on the third floor. After I settled in everyone left. However, I couldn’t take a nap. The feeling in my legs and thighs started to come back and I was starting to really feel what I had just been through. I had been up since 6:00 am the morning before, had been to work, to the doctor’s office, grocery shopping and just given birth. Mom and Dad went to get us something to eat (Chick-Fil-Lay) and then to get Grandma from the airport. She thought they were kidding when they told her I had just had the baby! Later on that night some of our friends and family came by.
I just couldn’t believe it was over. Although I felt pretty crappy. My body ached all over. My arms were sore from holding on to my knees to push. That night I sent Brett home to clean up. I didn’t want him to have to sleep on that awful chair that was in my room. After everyone left, it finally hit me. I couldn’t sleep that night because the nurses kept coming in every hour checking on me and Trent, checking our blood pressure and temperature. And I had severely bruised my tailbone. I could hardly walk to go to the bathroom. It was awful. My stomach didn’t hurt at all, just my back and arms. It took me twenty minutes to use the bathroom and it hurt. They had given me these huge ski looking pads to wear. You may have been lucky not to have a period for 8 months, but you really make up for it during these next few weeks.
That morning Mom, Laurie, Rich, Becky, Charlie and Elaine came by to see me. The nurses came to give him his “little surgery” and take his hospital pictures. Mom stayed most of the day and I had other visitors as well. Brett came up that afternoon. He looked tired too, but not nearly as tired as I was. That night I had other visitors, but again as soon as everyone left I was alone. I was glad that I could go home the next day. I wanted some real food and my own bed. Again that night I couldn’t sleep. What if he quits breathing? What if he is wet? What’s that noise? The nurses visited me and Trent every hour again!
That morning I tried to take a shower for the first time. That was painful, but I just wanted to feel fresh. I still was really, really sore. But it felt nice to get clean. I started packing up my things and had some more visitors from Laurie’s church to pray over the Trent. I told Brett to be there at 11:00 am. The nurse came in at 11:00 to take Trent’s blood and the PKU test. Then I had to wait for the doctors to release us. Dr. Lee came in and examined Trent and released him. Then we waited until 2:30 for my doctor to come in to release me. I was so angry that it took so long. But we finally were on our way home. We stopped at Taco Bell and then went by Granny and Papa’s for them to see their second great-grandson. As we pulled into our driveway, I noticed that our yard had welcome signs and balloons for Trent. Heather and her mom had driven all the way to our house to decorate. That was really thoughtful. As soon as we got home I vacuumed the front room. I know that I wasn’t supposed to but I did. And Trent fell right asleep to the noise of the vacuum cleaner. That night we had a big party to welcome little Trent. Mom had fixed a feast for everyone. I remember during the little party, I thought I had spilled something on my shirt. So I went to change. 10 minutes later there is was again. I didn’t realize that my boobs were leaking milk. That was really funny!
That night after everyone left Brett and I kind of looked at each other like “What now?” That night was awful. Trent would not sleep and wouldn’t eat. We were up all night. I started to cry. Even though I wasn’t suppose to be driving, that next morning I went to Babies R US to get a breast pump. My boobs hurt so bad and felt so full. But he just wasn’t getting enough milk if any. I was in tears all the way there. When I got there I ran into Jackie Baldwin. She calmed me down and helped me figure out what to do. I was depressed about the breast feeding situation. She assured me that Trent would be just fine taking a bottle. I felt I had failed. I got home and tired to pump my breast milk. But by that time my nipples were already cracked and bleeding. So after that weekend I offered him a bottle.
For the first week Mom came over every other day. That was such a big help. Brett and I took him for his week old check up. That was a different experience for us. That first month went by slowly. I hardly got any sleep. That was the biggest shock to me. He woke up every 2 hours on the dot. But at least we were in a routine. I was so tired all the time. I really didn’t understand what postpartum was until then. I would burst out into tears for no reason. And for hours just stare at him. I couldn’t believe that I was a mom. I remember one day I cried for most of the day, but I didn’t have a reason why. The feeling and pressure was so unreal. As the first two weeks went by I started to feel almost like my self again, well emotionally, but not physically. When I finally got to my postpartum check-up I was disappointed that I still had 20 pounds to lose and I had problems controlling my urine flow. Every time I sneezed, I peed! Every time I coughed, I peed! Every time I laughed, I peed! My keagle muscle was really weak and I couldn’t control it.~~
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